What an unholy mess of a film. I really wanted to like this, despite Man of Steel making me very angry.
Some mild spoilers ahead, perhaps come back if you’ve not seen the film yet.
Let’s start positively – Jeremy Irons as Alfred was a delight to watch, but wasn’t around enough. And Gal Gadot was present just the right amount, was awesome, and was far and away the best thing about this film.
Beyond that, ugh.
Gadot aside, the women are mothers or girlfriends to be rescued at appropriate moments, to be easily sacrificed, or to be an anonymous plaything for a billionaire vigilante on his night off.
Affleck plays a grumpy Bruce Wayne prone to Trump-like anti-alien rhetoric. Cavill’s Kent/Superman has two expressions – puzzled and confused. There was a distinct lack of charm.
By far the biggest irritation though was Jesse Eisenberg’s Lex Luthor. So annoying, I wanted to find the off-switch every time he appeared.
Even if you tied me up and called me Martha I’d be hard pushed to explain some of the plot points fully. People inexplicably knowing secret identities; others knowing what to do or where to go as if by magic; a handily placed tank of badness for the baddie to do bad with.
Flashbacks, dreams, visions all mixed up together – as I said, an unholy mess of a film.
The thing is, there really is no need for Batman to v Superman at all. They’ve both always been doing the same thing (on opposite sides of the bay, it would seem – who knew?) – wouldn’t a civilised little chat between two superheroes have sorted out everything?
Anyway. Over to you, Ms Prince.